@BassoonJokes: all my dance moves look like i'm trying to tell the guy on first base to steal second
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@WilliamAder: Just in case the FBI turns on my web cam, I've got a teeny tiny picture of Jimmy Hoffa taped to the lens.
@Sir_Strange: - Your Honor, I'd like to plead insanity. - On what grounds?! - I'm married. - I'll allow it.
@SocialustGal13: My doctor told me to start killing people. Not in those exact words but he said I needed to reduce my stress. Same thing.
@sarousti: She uses her boyfriends toothbrush without his knowledge and wears his underwear every day....I eat a dog biscuit ONCE and I'M the weirdo???