@adamlucidi: All my exes are engaged, married, and/or have kids. I'm single. As far as I'm concerned, I've won.
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@ThRealBallsDeep: I wonder if the guy I'm interviewing knows this isn't for a cologne model position.
@Thedudish: Men at the supermarket are like fish in an aquarium. Silent, with no recollection of how or why they got there.
@KenJennings: Bad news, the police just seized our German holiday bread. They said it was stollen. Folks, they said it was stollen.
@JumbledButts: STEVE: "Wanna go star gazing tonight?" ME: "What is that? Like a sci fi movie?" S: "No we watch stars." M: "Wars or Trek?"