@StephenBCramer: All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
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@TheMichaelRock: It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom.
@skullpuppy11: My cat said "meow", so I answered with a "meow", and now I'm afraid of what I may have agreed to.
@envydatropic: My neighbors are having a terrible fight in the front yard. I mean hanging Christmas lights. Same.