@LoveNLunchmeat: All of my best fantasies include a French maid. She cleans the house while I nap.
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@SamGrittner: Life is like a roller coaster: There are ups & downs, you often feel like vomiting, but in the end there are weird pictures of you for sale.
@AbbieEvansXO: Genie: you still have 2 wishes left. you sure you don’t want to use them? Me: [eating cheesecake] nope I’m good Genie: alright then [disappears] Me: [finishes cheesecake] oh no
@JoParkerBear: Ask yourself this: will it matter a year from now? If the answer is yes, I am sorry. You were supposed to say no.
@_GrahamPatrick: [bedroom] TRANSFORMER WIFE: Honey, this is silly. I'd never cheat on you. TRANSFORMER HUSBAND: Okay....hey, when did we get that wardrobe?