@HallpassCanada: All of my best ideas involve jail time.
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@decentbirthday: Barista: Latte for Waldo Barista: Do we have a Waldo here Barista: Where's Waldo Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that
@Seinfeld2000: KIM KARDASHIAN: Elane you GOTA see the BABY ELANE: I follow you on instagram. Im gona see it
@OhNoSheTwitnt: A fox: People aren't so bad. I hear they named a news station after us. [Watches 1 minute of Hannity] We attack the humans at dawn.
@tastefactory: I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up.