@SomeChrisTweets: All of my friends are getting married and loving their careers and then there's me, luring wayward ships into the rocks with ethereal songs.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@1CleverGirl1: *puts on pickle costume* *gets stuck in pickle costume* *calls friend* Could you please help me? I've gotten my myself into a pickle.
@undeadmolly: My parents are always pestering me to have kids. "Who will carry on the ancient family curse?" they say.