@SomeChrisTweets: All of my friends are getting married and loving their careers and then there's me, luring wayward ships into the rocks with ethereal songs.
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@1CleverClogs: I am woman, hear me say the opposite of what I mean in that tone that means you'd better do what I meant and not what I said.
@kumailn: If someone's mean to you, just lean in and whisper "I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie world" to them & get that monstrosity stuck in their head.
@heyevergreen: Wrong hole. Wrong hole. Wrong hole. Wrong hole. -trying to put on my distressed denim jeans