@SortaBad: All of my tattoos mean something. For example, the Chumbawamba lyrics on my rib cage mean I don't drink tequila anymore.
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@jonnysun: in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times
@KalvinMacleod: CAR GPS: turn left PHONE GPS: turn right C: who was that? ME: just a friend P: just a friend? ME: wait C: make an illegal U-turn ME: babe
@RapeyRaperton: When a man tries to hug me hello or goodbye I whisper in his ear "tip to tip" and sigh as we embrace to ensure we never do it again.
@Clare_innit: It's fun to smudge your lipstick and ruffle your hair before you come out of your bosses office, then give your work colleagues a wink.