@ericonederful: All of the good tweets are either married or gay.
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@AndyAsAdjective: I've spent the better part of my day trying to figure out why "mustache" & "headache" don't rhyme.
@Book_Krazy: [Therapist appt.] Hub: She doesn't have her priorities straight. *Me on FaceTime with a petting zoo in the background* "That's not true"