@iinkedZombie: All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach.
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@Momtoteens: If gyms paid pretty girls to just sit and clap in the weight section, I bet they could charge anything they want for a membership.
@IamEnidColeslaw: may your fathers prosper. may your friends be uglier than you. may your exes get food poisoning
@iAmDelFreaky: Me: Here you go. Her: WTF? Me: It's the genital mold you wanted. Her: I said gelatin mold! Me: *waddles away with pants around ankles*
@maurex23: WINDEX CEO: listen, I can't have you making puns anymore. EMPLOYEE: okay, I just want to make things clear-- CEO: you're fired.