@iinkedZombie: All of these people are screaming like they've never seen someone revving a chainsaw on a public beach.
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@BackrowSeats: This beautiful woman is winking at me. Now she's using the other eye. Never mind, she's just falling asleep.
@brookeisgolden: An underage sweater walks into a bar for the third time. The bartender says, "I'm gonna need to see your cardigan."