@RaynaTheGreat: All of your inspirational tweets make me want to track you down and pee on something you love.
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@causticbob: It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it.
@JoyceCarolTotes: Border patrol: Why do you have 100s of DVDs of Top Gun stuffed into your seat cushions Me: *sweating* BP: They aren't even illegal
@perfect_messs: Sign at gym says "Judgement Free Zone." Lets see if they really mean it, I think as I pull a corn dog from my bra while doing the leg press.
@hello_saylor: My daily affirmation before work goes something like this: "I enjoy receiving a paycheck."