@RaynaTheGreat: All of your inspirational tweets make me want to track you down and pee on something you love.
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@Hobo_Splendido: Did it hurt when YOU fell from heaven? If so, contact the law offices of Leon Molowitz, and get the monetary compensation you deserve!
@JermHimselfish: Do you think Lil' Wayne went to the tattoo parlor and said "Make my face look like an 8th grade girls trapper keeper"?
@daplusk: 'When I go to the bathroom at work and someone follows me in' Doctor: I meant is there anything worrying you, physically
@Miss_MI_Kay: If you ever really want someone to call back, leave them a message saying, "I've got tickets to..." and hang up