@RaynaTheGreat: All of your inspirational tweets make me want to track you down and pee on something you love.
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@JD_Barney: I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"
@Sassafrantz: If a bear tries to attack you in the woods, give it your bicycle. Maybe it's one of those circus bears, you never know.
@TheRolo: Table for six please? "Is your party coming soon or?" [Takes 4 turtles and a rat out from coat] I'm going to need booster seats
@Scdavis24: I just found a piece of pizza in my trash can. HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!! WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING!!