@conanobrienswyf: All out of clean spoons so I guess I'll just eat this fat free yogurt with my gun.
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@sixfootcandy: Therapist: Maybe you could try to be a little less hostile. Me: Maybe you could stick a butter knife in a light socket.
@ValeeGrrl: I take it personally when the UPS guy drops off a package for my neighbors but doesn't bring me one.
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids sure do make a lot of plans for being people who don't know how to drive themselves anywhere.
@JaneBadall: I always leave the room when my son's imaginary friend comes to play. I've seen 'The Sixth Sense' and frankly, I'm not taking any chances.