@ch000ch: all pants are breakaway pants if you're angry enough
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@cepheusjackson: ME: *brings my mom to a knife fight* MOM: *shouting* use your words! MOM: *chasing knife fighters away with a broom* I know your mothers!
@nigelgodwin: I always have a suicide note in my shower so that i wont look stupid if i ever slip and crack my head
@junejuly12: *rushes in* "Sorry I didn't see the email" *slow smile* *twirls hair* [Teaching office new girl how to be late for meetings]