@KattsDogma: All sex is "make up sex" if you don't know what you're doing.
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@bourgeoisalien: if someone asks you about yourself say "OK, sit down, this is going to be a really long story" then just wander off
@Sarcasticsapien: [walks up to coworker's desk] I know I don't say this often enough, but thank you for not showing me pictures of your kids.
@SamuelHLowe: - You pay more attention to the TV than you do me! - Ma'am, do you want me to fix your cable or not?