@InternetHippo: All the adults who used to tell me "When you're older you'll understand" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@IRLPepperMD: "This is the police! Put your hands up where I can see 'em!" "But I can't-" "Now!" *t-rex panics*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: The sign at this gas station says "turn engine off" so I catcalled my engine and its cute friend from across the street.
@david8hughes: [first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus