@InternetHippo: All the adults who used to tell me "When you're older you'll understand" - I appreciate your optimism but have some bad news
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Carmel_Coleman: Had a girl say "I want you to treat me like a virgin" So I sacrificed her to a tiki god and threw her in a volcano.
@sgtblueeyes: Jesus walks on water and everyone is impressed. I walk on water and I'm seriously concerned about this ice breaking...
@okimstillhungry: Who thought blowing out candles on a cake was a good tradition? Ah yes; wax would go well with this cake and you know what else? Child spit.
@MandiAtRandom: Whenever I have a panic attack, I put a brown paper bag over my mouth...and drink all the vodka inside. It seems to help