@SortaBad: "..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"
*raises hand*
What guy thought horses might figure it out?
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@freshestginger: *Librarian walks in* You know what's great kids? You don't need wifi to read a book! *Kids boo* *Someone in the crowd yells "NERD"*
@UncleDuke1969: “Your keys are over THERE.” - Wow. You have eagle eyes! “Yup. My vision is 20/20.” - No. I mean they’re small, beady & kinda close together.
@bigmacher: #ItsTheEndOfTheWorldAnd I'm going to run with scissors and swim immediately after eating!!!
@PanicRestroom: How to run faster: 1. Drink a lot of water 2. Wait till u have to pee 3. Start running You're welcome
@WilliamRodgers: Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
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