@torrami: All the kings horses and all the kings men probably feel like they're being grossly underutilized with that whole egg thing.
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@notacroc: [Arriving late to work] Boss: *looks at watch* fourth day this week Me: also known as Thursday, Jerry
@Reverend_Scott: BOSS: I set up a Suggestion Box. Please don't hesitate to- ME: [staring directly at boss while slowly stuffing cream cheese bagel into box]
@okimstillhungry: Me:*typing furiously* I've bypassed the firewall and I'm hacking into the mainframe now Arby's customer: So is my order placed or not Me: No
@ComedicBust: Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5...