@JennyJohnsonHi5: All the people upset over same sex marriage didn't seem to mind when Paula Abdul was openly dating a cartoon cat in the late 80s.
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@aka_fatman: Me: Ugh. Something I ate this morning didn't agree with me. [Inside my stomach] Chicken Quesadilla: "The Notebook" was an overrated film.
@JakeNicholas: There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase.
@DavidKinney: If I am ever killed by a koala bear, I hope whoever finds me just tells people I was killed by a bear