@birbigs: All the roles in Gravity were played by Martin Lawrence.
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@david8hughes: "So what kind of comedy will you be doing for us?" "The usual, self defecating." "Ha, I think you mean deprecating." "Think all you like."
@Reverend_Scott: *rubs magic lamp, genie appears* I wish for World peace. Genie: Can't do it. Million dollars? Genie: Listen bro, I lied on my genie resume.
@JVarsityCaptain: My ex can't take his new girlfriend to basketball games because she gets pissed when the whole stadium makes fun of her by yelling REBOUND!