@kwirkyKerri: All these people on FB posting pics of their kids makes feel so blessed...I don't have ugly children.
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@jwomackou: Wife: how'd you get that burn on your arm?? Me (looking fabulous): not from your curling iron
@KenJennings: The Super Bowl is over, everyone. Time to briefly learn the names of some Winter Olympians.
@djdarrellripley: Me: I need to know what your office drug policy is. Him: No drugs. Me: Got it... Do you consider the parking lot to be part of the office?
@KrissiBex: I love kids...But stop making me hold your baby. Why are you letting people touch your new born?!? I don't let people touch my new iPhone