@simoncholland: All this data mining and Facebook still can’t tell me what to get my wife for her birthday.
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@dlockw21: In my experience, people who say "I'm not trying to be difficult," don't really seem to be trying all that hard.
@Nickadoo: Ann Coulter has managed to stay so thin because the last solid meal she ate was Hansel and Gretel.
@DanMentos: [taking FRIENDS quiz] 7. Which character do you most identify with? Ross 8. Which is your least favorite character? Ross
@Koonass3: If they criticize your driving, look them straight in the eye while you turn their airbag off.