@simoncholland: All this data mining and Facebook still can’t tell me what to get my wife for her birthday.
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@Marlebean: "Say TGIF ONE more time" I say, scowling at my coworker with no children, "Go ahead, say it again."
@drankturpentine: magician: can i get a volunteer from the audience me: *already sawing myself in half*
@fro_vo: COP: do you know how fast you were going ME: no do you COP: yes ME: *twirls hair* what else do u know about me