@simoncholland: All this data mining and Facebook still can’t tell me what to get my wife for her birthday.
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@iwearaonesie: wife [talking to her pregnant friend] No matter how old they get you always have to remind them to do the dumbest things me *walks out of the bathroom* wife: Did you wash your hands? me *goes back in the bathroom*
@theshamingofjay: Ugh, Amazon Prime takes two whole days for delivery. I wish there was a way I could buy things and get them immediately.