@kellysdf: All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television.
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@gengen874: OMG, he's almost here. How's my hair? My clothes? How do I look? (knock, knock) He's here!!!! I'm so excited! *My pizza delivery guy.
@polite_good_boy: DOG: woof ME: you wanna go outside? DOG: [wagging tail] woof woof! ME: ok just a second DOG: [pulls a gun] woof [gestures to door] woof
@junejuly12: Me: Maybe shouting "harder baby" during CPR training was not a great idea. Security Guard: Keep walking. Stop talking.