@kellysdf: All those political ads are very convincing. They convinced me to stop watching television.
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@flashember: [Wildebeest being lowered Mission Impossible-style from a helicopter to graze the grasses of Buckingham Palace]
@EJGomez: judas: yo jesus: sup judas [hiding crocs behind back]: would u like if someone bought you crocs jesus: id rather be betrayed lmao judas: wow
@TravLeBlanc: Twitter: where 20-year standup comedy vets get out-funnyed by accountants, college kids, junkies, & unemployed single moms on a daily basis.
@JaymayAllDay: You know what celebrity they should get for Dancing With the Stars? That plastic bag from American Beauty.