@Cheeseboy22: All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.
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@ilovepie84: I always get "never shake a baby" and "cats always land on their feet" mixed up. Anyways I need a lawyer.
@nevels_kendyle: Guy in restaurant: Mam, are u ok? Are u choking? Me: *wipes off drool & removes a cherry stem from my mouth that's not tied in a knot*
@Reverend_Scott: "SOMEONE IS VAPING" 911: Stay calm, were tracing it "HURRY" 911: THE VAPING IS COMIN FROM INSIDE THE HOUSE "OMG" 911: GET OUT GET OUT
@Sarcasticsapien: People in love use phrases like "takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder.