@Cheeseboy22: All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.
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@KalvinMacleod: ME: u know what they say, drink with one eye open WIFE: they don’t say that, you’re drunk ME: *closes other eye* it is very dark in here
@BuckyIsotope: Fired from my job as an autopsy technician for repeatedly asking "are you gonna eat that?" during the procedures.
@JUSTLisandra: The first person to ever call me a psycho was Lorraine from high school. Height 5'4, coffin size 84 by 28 by 23.