@Cheeseboy22: All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society's way of preparing you for your driver's license photo.
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@pbear79: [first date] Her: I like a guy who knows what he wants Me: I'm going to get the bacon cheeseburger Her: Me: Is that not what you meant?
@sarcasticmommy4: I'm not saying my kids come to me for everything but if I was on fire & my husband was 10 feet away, they'd still ask me for a snack.
@Playing_Dad: Reporter: Is there anything you can do to make people hate you more? Rodger Goodell: Coldplay is doing the Super Bowl halftime show.
@badbanana: Anyone who feels bad about dumping a huge national debt on the next generation hasn't spent a lot of time around teenagers.