@kelkulus: All those years studying karate saved my life one night, when a man with a gun jumped out of nowhere and demanded I count to 10 in Japanese.
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@behindyourback: Why do birds suddenly appear/every time you are near/just like me they long to be/eating your sandwich
@Book_Krazy: Boss: HR wants to see you Me: What for? Boss: Mandatory drug test Me: Oh man, I really can't do any more drugs after the weekend I had