@Darlainky: All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us!
-if bras could talk
@Kyle_Lippert: A young Bruce Wayne falls into a cave full of pugs. He later becomes Pugman and keeps the streets of Gotham clean and downright adorable.
@HiddleDeeDee: Just cleaned out my desk.
Bad news: I apparently have 1,453 Sharpies and none of them are sharp.
Good news: I found the plane!
@MythicPicnic: I feel bad for my Roomba, so every other day I vacuum while it sits on the couch watching TV and drinking beer.
@ChipKellysBalls: Find a penny
Pick it up
& all the day
You'll have significantly raised chances of contracting a bacterial infection ...
@Lunatic_times: Twitter is the witness protection program from family on Facebook.