@Darlainky: All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us!
-if bras could talk
@TheGladStork: Work tip: if you're going to ask your boss if you can "work from home", don't use air quotes.
@larasjeansong: parents: you were such a smart kid what happened??!?
me: your child died and was replaced by a lookalike; a conspiracy theory thread
Excuse me, can I borrow your towel? This cinnamon roll is really sticky.
@andylassner: Never trust anyone who says you need to come out of your shell because let's start with the fact that they think you're a turtle
@seandunn76: Alex: This term indicates a zero score in tennis.
Contestant: What is love?
*dance party erupts*