@Darlainky: All we do is support you, all you ever do is complain about us!
-if bras could talk
@Reverend_Scott: *dramatically gets out of bean bag chair for 20 minutes*
@bornmiserable: Coming soon to Fox and Friends: a crime fighting duo useless at stopping mass shootings. They are THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS, Wednesdays at 9 pm.
@squirrel74wkgn: *gets into canoe*
Guide: Ok, everyone grab an oar!
*gets out of canoe*
@LizHackett: Keen silence from a dinner guest as she looks across the living room and realizes I made her bridesmaid dress into a dog bed.
@AndyAsAdjective: [my 1st day at press conference sign language translator job I lied on my résumé to get]
ME: *does Madonna's Vogue choreography for 45 min*