@bacon_gillepic: All women are technically bodybuilders if they get pregnant
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@web_supergirl: Cat got your tongue? Frog in your throat? Monkey on your back? Butterflies in your stomach? You may be dead in a field.
@iAmDelFreaky: <during sex> Me: Can we pretend I didn't just call you Uncle Joe? Her: Not sure, it's pretty disturbing. Uncle Joe: It didn't bother me.
@electrolemon: "let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars" - cops