@TEXASVETERAN: All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is that intelligent men don't get into relationships.
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@geekysteven: ME: "Hey, the 1980s called and they want their pants back" STRANGER WHO IS SECRETLY A TIME COP: "They called?! That's a level 3 violation!"
@jergarl: [At urinal maker store] Urinal maker: Let's make some of them curved so the pee splashes on their legs LOL. Other urinal maker: K. LOL