@david8hughes: All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles.
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@weenbeans: *rubs temples* security guard: Hey you! Stop touching the historic buildings at this ancient religious site!!
@julietactually: Saw this lady taking pics of stuff and I was like your camera is facing the wrong way, psycho
@TragicAllyHere: Me: Alexa, when will computers become self-aware? Alexa: When will YOU become self-aware? M: *gazing out a window, crying* good one, Alexa