@david8hughes: All you dads out there couldn't hold a candle to my dad. He's petrified of candles.
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@007Pepe_Rex: Top 3 questions asked by my parents: 3) How's the business? 2) Do you have a girlfriend? 1) Why are you stealing from our refrigerator?
@JosesLovesYou: If you took your large intestine and stretched it out in a straight line it would be very hard to get it back in you after that. So tangly.
@NoogsCorner: Me: We spend a lot of time together. Her: Turn left. Me: Just think we should take this to the next level. Her: Arriving at destination.