@HenpeckedHal: Alligators can survive for 2-3 years without eating. My personal record is 16 minutes.
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@TheHyyyype: ME: *sighs* yep, story of my life EDITOR: please stop saying that every time you hand me a draft of your autobiography
@DomesticGoddss: Just showed my 4 yo niece that I can still do a cartwheel and now she is showing me where the ice packs are.
@jesseltaylor: Me five minutes ago: I'm not sure what the United Kingdom is Me now: very good result in Newcastle Central, bodes poorly for the Tories
@notnuthin: old lady: that's not necessary me: [installing twitter on her phone] look lady i carried your bags, the least u can do is follow me online