@LostBrainwaves: Alligators gonna alligate
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@jimmytorosian: Me: Have a taste of your own medicine *I force the pills the Dr. prescribed for me down his throat* Me: WHO HAS ERECTILE DYSFUNCTION NOW?!
@KalvinMacleod: ME: how can I make u proud? MOM: reach for the stars NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: the closest star is 93 million miles away. You’ll never get there.
@NYC_Blonde: Mom: Wanna help gift rap? Me: In West Philadelphia born and raised on the playgro-- oh you mean WRAP? Nah homegirl you're on your own.
@panmidwest: FOOL-PROOF PICKUP LINE: you're tall for a woman [she gets real mad right here] *place hand on hers* but the perfect height for an angel