@trevso_electric: Alligators sewing little pictures of rich white people on their shirts.
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@T_Longstreth: [stops girl before she walks in the puddle] "I got this one babe, *pulling out a straw* stand back"
@maddyalou: Feeling sick at work. Subway to the bus-$5 Bus to commuter lot-$2 Puking in my car-$0 Guy in the car next to me puking in response-priceless
@The_Grant_Boldt: *at Starbucks* "Ya I'll have the medium roast please" *Barista insults him a lot but not too much*