@trevso_electric: Alligators sewing little pictures of rich white people on their shirts.
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@JohnLyonTweets: So the waiter said "The plate is hot" and I said "I'll be the judge of that, haha." Anyhoo, I met a lot of nice people at the burn center.
@leslid79: 1. Change last name to Crunch. 2. Join the military. 3. Work my way up to Captain. 4. Become Captain Crunch. 5. WIN LIFE
@samalmightysam: 1) Second. 2) Minute. 3) Hour. 4) Day. 5) Week. 6) Month. 7) Year. 8) Decade. 9) Century. 10) Millennium. 11) Women buying clothes.
@joejwest: PILOT: Welcome to flying school. Any questions? ME: Is it possible to crash into a rainbow? PILOT: Yes it's how most of you will die. Next?