@FSUSteve: Almost 10,000 tweets, guess who's not Employee of the Month.
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@joejwest: COP: Give back the money you stole ME: Already spent it COP: On what? ME: Karate lessons which [does vague swishes w/ hand] I did not attend
@WilliamRodgers: I'm not sure which is worse: People who force their religion on you... Or Anyone who's ever said "Oh it's because I'm a Virgo."
@david8hughes: [wife crosses out another baby name off the list] What? What's wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?
@Reverend_Scott: ROBIN: Let me drive the Batmobile. BATMAN: Never. I'd rather let Superman- [wall breaks down] SUPERMAN: OMG REALLY BATMAN: No.