@FSUSteve: Almost 10,000 tweets, guess who's not Employee of the Month.
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@WeissBrandon: Cop: do you know why I was following you? Me: WAS following? Wait you unfollowed me? Cop:haha Me:haha Cop... Me... Is it cause of the drugs?
@iRowlf: I think these bikers are coming over to give me a group hug because they like the Hello Kitty stickers I put all over their motorcycles.
@Supafunkadunka: If your cat brings home a dead bird and presents it to you, don't be rude. Take a little bite.