@FSUSteve: Almost 10,000 tweets, guess who's not Employee of the Month.
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@JesKeepSwimming: Goldilocks taught me that you can get away with breaking into a brown family's home and stealing their food, as long as you're a white girl.
@AGreaterMonster: Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong.
@DelilahSmashbox: I almost wish the guy I'm stalking would find me and call the cops. These bushes are scratchy and my legs are cramping.
@AddTequila: Whenever I meet a girl with tattoos, I get excited. Because I know she's legal and willing to do stuff she may regret.