@slimmy_shady: Almost arrived at work when my kid asked "Where're we going?" Who the hell did I just drop off at school?!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Mr_Kapowski: You tell one kid there's candy inside an electrical outlet that can only be retrieved with a fork and you're never asked to babysit again
@jdforshort: If sexual frustration could be transferred into a usable energy source, I would be sitting on a gold mine
@MasterOfFury: i like dropping off a tweet to FB & watch as everyone cautiously forms a circle around it, looking confused while prodding it with a stick.
@dafloydsta: ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first ME: The baby giraffe broke the TV WIFE: We don't have a- ME: Aaaaand now the good news