@newschannelnine: Also, kids? Don't DM us pretending you are some school official cancelling school. Closings don't work like that. & we're not that dumb.
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@noogscorner: Splinter: Leo. Mikey: I'm Michelangelo. That's Leo. Donny: I'm Donatello. That's Leo. Leo: I thought I was Raphael. - Why they wear masks
@ianabramson: I'm the kind of guy who peeks under bathroom stalls and asks where you go for taxes.
@Rollmaninoz: Interviewer: where do ya see yourself in 5yrs Me: going through a Denny’s trash bin I: but you might get this job M: haha that’s… irrelevant
@Reverend_Scott: Dog Mechanic: The repair is gonna take longer than expected. "Why's that?" Dog Mechanic: The clutch is worn out, also because I am a dog.