@StinkyGr33n: Also, those little Swiss Army knives are great when you need a tiny pair of scissors to open your Gummi Bears like some kind of crack head.
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@carlyken: Translator: We changed the Bible verses forbidding happy marriage to say gay marriage. King James: Same thing, what could possibly go wrong?
@notalogin: Did you ask her out? Yes. And? She only dates guys named Matt. Cause she likes to walk all over them? No, tattoo she can't afford to remove.
@onion_an: Son: Dad can sand melt? Me putting down my glass: Don't be ridiculous of course it can't