@inikoblue: Although I'm not exactly overjoyed with my single status. I thank God I'm not married to the obviously married guy hitting on me.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@MarfSalvador: [Funeral] Her: [Through tears] I'm gonna need your support today Him: You got it babe [waves flag and presses air horn] WIFE! WIFE! WIFE!
@yonewt: In the movies, anyone can hotwire a car in 10 seconds. In real life, it takes me 20 minutes to find the gas flap release on a rental.
@AsgardianRose: Life can be compared to a 'Choose your own adventure' book. Sometimes there's a happy ending; sometimes you get eaten by a bear.