@inikoblue: Although I'm not exactly overjoyed with my single status. I thank God I'm not married to the obviously married guy hitting on me.
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@sonictyrant: "Now that i've completed my teleportation device, the world and its wonders are mine to behold" *Teleports to the nearest taco bell*
@TheBoydP: Not to brag but my son's friend said "Your dad looks hot" when I was cleaning the pool. She followed with "Is that heat stroke?" but still.
@InternetHippo: When a football player points to the sky after a touchdown he's saying "That one's for you, international space station"
@WilliamAder: Found a box of photos in the closet, one of which was me sitting on Santa's lap. Hard to believe that was over six months ago.