@Muggernaught: Alway be nice to anyone that has full unhindered access to your toothbrush.
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@YeahDrewisOn: I've learned there are two types of people in this world: People I trust to help me bury bodies... ...and bodies
@Mr_Kapowski: Coworkers: Zack, you should come to a hookah bar with us! Me: Why? Who's celebrating their 12th birthday?
@_NinJar: Me: Whats the best thing on the menu? Waiter: The cheesebur- Me: WRONG! *points to the picture I drew on it of Ironman fighting Darth Vader*
@Jake_Vig: Survival Tip: If confronted by a dinosaur while hiking, politely but firmly explain that it is extinct.