@RainbowJohnJ: Always a housemaid, never a house.
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@SerialFuckup: Today's life lesson: "I've learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing them off is a piece of cake."
@cepheusjackson: ME: *brings my mom to a knife fight* MOM: *shouting* use your words! MOM: *chasing knife fighters away with a broom* I know your mothers!
@abbycohenwl: [Founding Fathers] -But how do we get court witnesses 2 tell the truth? -They swear on a bible? -Thats stupid -Hey lunch's here -Done[gavel]