@9GAG: Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman.. Then be Batman.
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@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
@weinerdog4life: Blind Date Tip: In the middle of dinner throw a surprise punch to see if they are really blind
@Sanbel11: When a husband asks you if you think it's possible to love someone forever... "If I find the right person" is apparently the wrong answer.
@teenpuke: what if it doesnt want to be called hot sauce???? what if it wants to be called beautiful sauce