@daemonic3: "Always bring a nail file, scissors, tweezers, a corkscrew, a toothpick and a bottle opener to a knife fight." -- The Swiss Army
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@DCpierson: MOST RESTAURANTS: Waiter: "Have you dined with us before?" You: "No." Waiter: "Oh! Well, (*proceeds to describe a normal restaurant*)"
@ambamthankyamam: Bicyclists, it's one thing to hog the road, but it's quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.
@LuckoftheDraw86: So when is too soon to ask your friend if you can borrow their baby to reenact The Lion King? One day old? Two?
@DevilryFun: You don't need a therapist when you have a strong support group around your barstool.