@Parker_Simpson: always good to put one of those Apple stickers that comes with ur iPhone on your car so thieves know which car to break in to.
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@TheTalkingPipe: They say it's the journey that matters and not the destination, which is good because I've no clue where I'm going.
@Tmoney68: Spice up Christmas shopping by entering random fitting rooms, waiting 5 minutes, then yelling, "Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!"
@Jade_VK: Brenda from work unfollowed me on here so now I have to follow her around the office all day reading my tweets like a news broadcaster
@Bob_Janke: Whenever I have to fix a hole in any wall I always hide a realistically drawn but totally fake treasure map in there first.