@TheSnideOne: Always look for the girl with the ponytail holder on her wrist.
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@charliedelta7: I'm having a very hard time believing that money can't buy me happiness. Especially since I'm constantly smiling when I have it.
@FatherWithTwins: WEIGHT LOSS TIP: Put your chips into a bowl instead of eating out of the bag. That way, you'll get lots of exercise going back to the kitchen to fill up the bowl 10 times as you eat the entire bag.
@thejakeshenry: This dishwasher sucks. It's already ruined three of my paper plates.
@ImKevinito: I wish cops cared about me wearing a condom as much as they care about me wearing a seat belt.
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