@bazlyons: 'Always the bridesmaid, never the bride' is good advice for any best man.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@girlontapas: The Internet lets the world instantly know my thought but...they can't make a microwave that I can put metal in. Someone isn't trying.
@novicefather: I played dead in the living room to see how my 2yo would respond. He climbed on my "corpse" for 5 minutes then turned on the tv.
@philmann: PILOT: if you look out the window you'll see we're cruising at 35,000 feet [i look out the window] [THE SKY IS FULL OF FEET JESUS CHRIST]