@neiltyson: Always wanted to call people who don’t like astronomy “Galactos Intolerant"
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@KalvinMacleod: GENIE: you have 3 fishes ME: you mean wishes, right? GENIE: times are tough ME: GENIE: ME: GENIE: ME: I'll take two mackerel and a goldfish
@crabgirl_: The people in this spin class are looking at me like they've never seen a girl with a helmet before.
@JimGaffigan: A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
@BuckyIsotope: "What's up, doc?" says Bugs Bunny. "Not you," laughs the doctor. "Take these little blue pills." *Looney Tunes music plays*