@SteveSuckington: Alzheimer's cop: do you know why I pulled you over?
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@JermHimselfish: A great white shark is just a normal shark with khakis and a high credit score.
@Ideal_Victoria: I’m getting tired of always having to slowly raise my hand every time someone angrily asks, “Who does something like that?!”
@simoncholland: One good thing about having kids is that they are sick every time I get invited to something I don't want to do.