@brandonIee: Am I a good person? No. But do I try to be better every single day? Also no
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@batkaren: Deep in the black void where my heart once beat, there lies a small, glowing ember-- oh wait no that's a Cheeto.
@MsCarlissima: To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell "YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?" into my phone, then slam down the receiver.
@DanMentos: I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool "This is my 24th winter" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart