@ScorpionDong: Hangs a sign on front door that says "Robbery in progress - Please do not disturb" to deter burglars

@sara_ashlynn: My daughter said, "You're the best mommy ever!" I'm really proud that she's learning sarcasm at such a young age.

@OneFunnyMummy: Maybe mama duck isn't leading her babies, maybe she's trying to outrun them.

@Dawn_M_: Age 10: I'm going to be a rockstar Age 20: I might learn an instrument someday Age 30: I hope a piano lands on me

@Eightinchgoat: *Pulls your panties to the side* *Tries to remember how I even ended up wearing your panties*