@rachelle_mandik: am i supposed to have a separate mouth with which to kiss my mother please advise
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@BoogTweets: Judas: How long are your arms? Jesus: Why? Judas: Like in a cross, how long Jesus: A what? Judas:Across. How long across.
@LuvPug: I just wished a Bride-to-be good luck on her first marriage. She didn't seem to appreciate my sincerity.
@TheCatWhisprer: MAN: [after being mauled by a bear] oh it's just a scratch MAN: [with a cold] omg i can't breathe i think i'm dying
@d_duhwit: Enviromentalists:"How can we stop the rising oceans Me (understands displacement but not enviromentalism):"Pull all those big whales out.