@Ms612: Am I the only one who runs up on happy couples and yells, "How could you do this to me" and then runs off crying?
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@Jeffwni: [Ancient Egypt job centre] - Name? "Ankhesenamun" - How do you spell that? "Reed comb water Ankh, bendy straw water shitting priest"
@blade_funner: *slips $5 to the mortician* Me: How about - stop screaming - how about you give me another 10 minutes, this is a great place to nap.
@tinatbh: Me: Wanna see pics of my dog? Person: No Me: Great! This is him playing. This is him sleeping. This is him being the CUTEST DOG EVER.
@thenatewolf: Scientist: our large brains are what allows us to survive so successfully 10,000 Year Old Tree: k