@ThisOneSayz: Am I winning or losing at parenting if my 3yo says, "ooohhh chicken nuggets!" as I pull up to the security booth at a gated community?
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@jtswhipped: To the woman that told her husband to "bite my ballsack" at the store today,I golf clapped because you won life.
@shkeeber: *cape flaps in the wind* Me: Are you ready to defend freedom for another day, Captain K? Mom: Quit blocking the fan and put the cat down.
@UNTRESOR: "Sorry, boss. I can't come in today." "Why not?" [fakes a sore throat] "I'm in jail for vehicular manslaughter."